So you tried to change, and you slipped. Take a deep breath. And exhale.

It's easier said than done I know, but try to focus on the learning process. All the practice and effort did not go out of the window. What would you say to a child learning to walk if it stumbles, or falls? Would you think she is never going to learn to walk, or that he just sucks at it, or that there's something wrong with her? Of course not. You would know falling down is a natural part of learning to walk.

Try this: tel us, with pride, the following. It's time for me to take the credit for all the work I've been doing. I know that without acknowledging this, I will not 'own' the change. I take credit for <fill in your accomplishments>, for this amazing gift I've given me. For all the reflection and reading and discussing I did. I take credit for trying. I take credit for caring. This life is difficult. "There are so many kinds of pain, and yet you carry on, seeking whatever emotional and physical sustenance is available. The last point is key: you carry on. In the face of all the pain, past and to come, you continue to struggle. You plan, you cope, you decide. You continue to live and to feel... You can forgive and let go of your failures and mistakes because you have already paid for them. It is our condition that we do not always know the best way - and even knowing the way, we may not have the resources to follow it"1

I know I still have much to learn, and that's okay. The only thing I need to do is keep making baby steps. It will not always be easy, I will have good days, and sometimes it will feel difficult. I know this and I accept this together with my human nature. I'm really proud that I' doing this for me. It's an act of self love and self care and it feels so empowering. I will take the time I need and be patient.

Or something along those lines. :-)

Be kind to your self
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1 quote from McKay's book on self-esteem