As I start to learn to eat intuitively - which comes down to eating any food, any time hungry, but stopping when full - I start to see how moderation in food and in alcohol actually relate. I've read many comparisons, and I try to derive some my self, but I was never really happy with them. I think I start to feel where they might be very similar.
Learning to stop when full and satisfied starts to feel very close to discovering one's stop button. Actually, isn't that what moderation is all about? Learning how to stop when satisfied. Not learning how to stop when we reach a certain number of drinks, but getting back in touch with our body's and our mind's natural signals of satisfaction and getting attuned to the "enough" signal. What we here sometimes call seeing the "stop button". Now of course, numbers play a crucial role in practice. Also, counting drinks is a very simple and quite light way to help us stay aware. And without increased awareness, there is no intuitive drinking or eating - how can you feel you had enough if you are not paying attention to what your body and mind are telling you?
 
Moderation is therefore all about replacing the problem drinking habits with a habit to check in with our selves regularly. And that can only be done with increased awareness. Someone asked if moderation ever becomes a second nature. Well I think if you can accept that increased level of awareness, then yes. I used to complain about this, it bothered me. Like - why do I have to be so self-aware when drinking, while others seem so "natural" and relaxed. Will I ever be able to relax? Well, this exactly seems to be the point. People with the tendency to abuse alcohol are not aware, and those who moderate are very aware. They are so aware of the effects they clearly hear their stop button. They are just so used to this increased awareness, that they feel it as a *second nature*. Alcohol is a serious substance, drinking carries risks. Of course we got to be aware. Nobody doubts we need to be aware while driving a car.
Now I finally understand something my grand granddad use to say to my father, and he always repeated to me: stop eating when it's most enjoyable. I never liked this, because the way I understood this was: you have to have the discipline to stop eating at the point where your desire to eat is highest. To me, this sounded very ascetic, almost masochistic. But I think what my grand granddad actually meant was: stop eating when satisfied. A wise man he was, after fighting 7 years in three wars. 
Now to complete this definition of moderation, I want to draw your attention to another two points.
A first point has to do with strict vs. flexible rules. What bothers me about strict rules is the underlying assumption that we can not be trusted. Even after a lot of practice, and proven progress in behaviour change, we can not rely on our selves to make the right choices. We need rules and numbers to tell us how to behave. The underlying belief that there is something either inherently wrong with us, or that we suffer from an incurable disease. So unlike most other people, we have to submit our selves to either a life of following strict rules, a life governed by numbers and counting, or a life of total abstinence.
Well I choose not to believe that. I think it's quite the contrary. Once you know you're ready, and after the period you need to take to re-examine your self, and practice a new behaviour long enough - I repeat, *long enough* - you need to start trusting your self you can do this. As simple as this may sound, this is really not easy for most of us. A side note: following strict rules during the stage of practicing your new behaviour may be a good tool for you, as it was for me - as it forced me to tap the inner creativity I needed to fight the old habits.
A second point is:I want to grow out of drinking. 
I am very inspired by what an experienced moderator once told me, so let me end this post by quoting her: "The short answer is: I don't have that much of a taste for drinking any more. 
The longer answer is, it took a long time and it happened bit by bit. I looked at problems in my life that I was using alcohol to solve, and
I worked on finding other solutions. I looked at how drinking had affected my relationships and made some changes there.
I added change after change to my toolbox. If a new situation came up, I devised a new tool to handle it in the future.
As I practiced drinking less, I began to appreciate the effect of just 3 drinks, then 2, then 1. Any time you see a half drink for me, that's just a bit of wine with dinner, or I started to drink, then realized I didnt't want it after all. Bottom line is: 2 drinks is usually quite enough for me in terms of buzz."
For me, this is the full promise of moderation. I know that to finally  "loose the taste for drinking" I need to continue working on the underlying issues that I (mis)used alcohol to cope with. I need to keep growing. 
Let's grow together.